What if she had come into his life in the wrong moment?

After all, she was just an admiror among a million others. She felt so lucky to have had him by her side, even if not for long, but she knew it wouldn’t have lasted forever.

They had bumped into each other at Starbucks just an hour before his signing where, as a matter of fact, she intended to get her copy of Deadly Storm signed. He accidentally made her spill her coffee so he then offered her one and they started talking.

It was weird.

She had never opened up to anyone about her mother’s case but somehow she felt at ease with him. She knew he was just a writer but when he started showing interest in the case and blurring out theories that had never even crossed her mind she begged him to meet again to discuss those theories. She was too close to the case, she certainly needed another point of view.

Kate and Rick started spending a lot of time together, sometimes staying up until late at night but it was definitely worth it, because thanks to him she finally caught her mother’s killer. Of course, being his fan, she didn’t mind spending a lot of time with him, but she had started getting attached and she had started feeling like she couldn’t let go, like she needed his as much as she needed air to breathe.

When she arrived to the precinct that saturday morning of May there was no coffee waiting for her. That meant he wasn’t there, it was their ritual. She asked Ryan and Esposito if they had seen Castle but moments later she wished she’d never asked.

“Don’t you know?” said Ryan “He’s in the Hamptons for the weekend with Gina, his ex-wife. They’re getting back together, it’s all over the gossip magazines.”

Kate started feeling a little dizzy and sat down not to faint in front of her colleagues, she didn’t want them to kow she loved him.

“Uhm... yeah, of course I knew, I had only forgotten...” she said weakly.

There hadn’t been a murder in a week and all the paper-work had been done so she went home. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, about all those moments spent together. She thought he liked her, otherwise why help her out with the case? Why spend so much time with her when he had a family waiting for him at home?

She sent him a text “We need to talk”, it was all she managed to write before she burst into tears.

This was not like her. Had that wall she had built around her to keep everyone away finally come down? Was this the real Kate Beckett? The girl she would’ve been all along if her mother hadn’t been killed?

Why now, why him? She wasn’t used to feeling this weak and sentimental but here she was, thinking about the man she loved, trying to figure out what she would tell him once they were standing face-to-face.

For the first time in years she cried herself to sleep for a reason that was not her mother’s absence.

On Sunday evening she was suddenly awakened by some knocks on the door. She looked at the alarm clock, it was a quarter past midnight. She took her time to reach the door even if the knocks had gotten more insistent. She seldom received visits, sometimes by Ryan, Esposito or Lanie, who would bring her chinese take-away to eat while discussing a case but this couldn’t have been one of them because of the lack of murders lately, not that she complained of course.

She opened the door to find Castle standing in front of her. 

"Hey, I brought coffee" he said showing her the paper cups.

Kate didn't know what to say so she just stepped aside to let him in.

"I know I should've told you I was going away for the week-end..." said Castle, but Beckett cut him off almost immediately "no, what you should've told me is that you're getting back with your ex-wife!"

He stared at her with his puppy blue eyes as she continued "Was it all just a game for you?" she was fighting to hold back tears "I cared for you, I fell in love with you for God's sake!" she couldn't believe she had said it. There was no reason to hold back her tears anymore and she let them run down her cheeks.

Castle walked towards her but she didn't want to face the consequences of what she said, she didn't want him to be kind to er out of pity and guilt, so she took a couple of steps back and found herself with her back against the wall. 

He took her hands in his, looked into her beautiful green eyes and said soothingly "Kate, I went to the Hamptons with Alexis and my mother, Gina and I are not getting back together, you should know not to trust gossips..."

She stuttered a bit "but... I-I thought..." she couldn't think clearly when she looked into his deep blue eyes. 

"Kate, I was actually trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you too..." he whispered.

"Seriously?" she asked incredulously. 

"Seriously" he answered as he kissed her ravenously and realised that she was the love of his life, the one he couldn't live without.

She broke the kiss and smiled, not taking her eyes off him, not even for a second, then whispered "will you stay with me tonight... And the next one and the one after that?"

"Always"