Dear diary,

I never knew what it meant to have a mother. I've never had one. Or maybe yes. I don't know how to define it. Opaline saved my life when I was very young, but... she was always cold with me. I have never received a hug from her, or a caress or even a simple "I love you". That's why I don't call her a 'mom', but simply Opaline. I don't know what it's like to have a mother, but I think Opaline never behaved like a 'mother' with me. Sometimes I wonder why she decided to save me. Wouldn't it have been better to let me die? Maybe death isn't as bad as I thought. It certainly can't be worse than how Opaline treats me. For her I'm just a burden. She only uses me for her own purposes. Sometimes I love myself thinking that she cares about me, and that she is about to show me her affection. But every time this doesn't happen. Another disappointment afflicts my heart. I would really like to know why she saved me. She doesn't need me. She's so powerful, she doesn't need anyone. But then why? I don't understand... I wonder, if anything, one day something bad should happen, if she would choose to save me or choose herself, and let someone hurt me?! Sometimes I'm afraid of the answer. I would love to face it, but the truth is that I'm afraid. If she hurt me? If she kicked me out of the house, what would I do? I've never been in contact with other ponies. I don't know anything about the world. Oh, how I wish it was all simple. How much I would like her frozen heart to melt. I look forward to the day when Opaline will start treating me better. When she starts to give me her affection. It's true, she gave me a house, a room, some food, but not her love. Sometimes I wonder what happened to my real parents: didn't they want me? Did they abandon me? Did someone hurt them and were they forced to abandon me? I have so many questions, and no answers. I don't know where to look. Opaline told me she knows nothing, she just found me in the middle of nowhere. If they were here with me, maybe I would be a different pony? Happy? Would we be a big family? But above all, will there be someone out there looking for me? Will I have sisters or brothers? Or am I completely ALONE? I would like a better life. I haven't gotten my cutiemark yet, Opaline promised me that if I do everything she tells me, she will eventually reward me. I hope with all my heart that it is true, that it has been sincere, that in the end of her heart of ice cares about me. Because if that wasn't the case, I don't know how I would react. 

I am tired of all this continuous 'delude myself, hope, suffer'. When will it end? Oh mom, I wish you were here with me. Why is life so unfair to me? I don't ask for much, just a loving mother and friends.

Misty concluded by closing the diary.