Dear
Julian,
I’m
sorry. I can say no more, because there is no more to say.
I’ve always been
wrong with you, I’ve never given you the love you deserve.
Perhaps
because I wasn’t ready, or because I’ve never have
my father. Perhaps I didn’t
understand how important I was for you, because you’ve never
been important for
me. And I’m sorry.
Now
I understand: you are the perfect son, and you’re right when
you say you don’t
want to be like me. For this reason you haven't got married yet,
because you’re not
ready and you don't wanna make my same mistakes. You are so wise and strong… I think
you’re better than me
and therefore you’d be able to forgive me.
But
if you don’t do that… I’ll understand.
Here
I’m ok, but everyday I miss you, and I regret all the time
I’ve never spent
with you, with my little boy. I think you’ve done a good
work, being a
musician. I'm very proud of you.
How
is it here? A big and white cloud. It’s the only thing I see.
I don’t want to
go out, I’m afraid to meet someone. I saw George last
week… well, I suppose it
was last week: there is no time, here. George was very happy, and me
too. But
seeing him… It was a mistake: in that moment I rembered all
my life, everything
I have done... and I though of you, and of what you’d think
about me. Not nice
things, I suppose.
How
is Mum? And Paul? Ringo? Sean? You are friends, aren’t you?
I’m afraid to ask
you about Yoko. She’s not been so kind, I know. I
don’t wanna ask you to
forgive her, but just… to forgive me. I know it’s
difficult and I wouldn’t
deserve it. But I need it, I wish your forgiveness.
I
hope you’ll do.
See
you, Julian. Don’t make it bad… Keep imagine,
lovely boy.
With
love,
your
father John.